When Tears Turn To Minutes, And Sobs To Hours
by ilovesara801
Summary: My version of the scene in "Nesting Dolls" Season 5 where Grissom goes to Sara's apartment after she gets suspended by Ecklie and Catherine.


Since, as we all know, I don't update like clockwork, I decided to take a stab at a one or a two-shot. I really don't know if this will spiral into a fic, but I'm just hoping it won't. If you want it to though…and let me know whether you want more little one/two-shots between drunk fic and DK chapters.

**Oh and by the way, if you haven't seen Nesting Dolls (Season 5)…don't even bother. (No offense.)**

**(I'll take requests, by the way.) **

**Flashbacks /transcript in **_**italic bold.**_

_The night before…_

"_**You know? Every time we get a case with a hint of domestic violence or abuse, you go off the deep end? What is your problem?"**_

"_**Yeah, I probably do; and you let your sexuality cloud your judgment about men, and I'm going to go over your head on this one!"**_

"_**Sidle, in my office, NOW!"**_

_What is it with people? I mean, I took this job to help people, not be told down by Catherine fucking Willows when I know I'm right!_ Slowly Sara rose from the chair she was sitting in, and walked over to her fridge, knelt down, and pulled a beer bottle out.

_Well, what else can you do? I'm probably fired…damn Catherine damn Catherine damn Catherine! Sometimes I really wish we could go a day without arguing these…these…semantics! It's just not worth it! And she's not even my supervisor!_

"_**Willows is a supervisor! That means you treat her with respect. Insulting her in front of co-workers…"**_

"_**She's not my supervisor."**_

_I still don't get why she got to be supervisor. Oh yeah, all I'm good for is for when Griss decided he wants someone to pull a triple. Where's Miss Ass-Kisser then huh? At home sleeping? Probably. And I'd bet she turns her phone off too._ Sara took another long drink of her beer.

_Hmh….I wonder if Catherine knows how immensely funny it is that Griss would leave her after destroying a skull._

"_**No, no, no! You're not just going to destroy this skull and split!"**_

"_**You can make a nice mold from the impression."**_

"_**I'm shorthanded as it is!"**_

"_**I think Sara just wrapped up a case. If you need her, she's yours."**_

_At least it was funny until I got dragged into it. And wouldn't it figure I get to go through all of those broken jaw pictures? I must have done something shitty recently 'cause karma sure did bite me in the ass this time around._ Suddenly, a knock on her door jolted Sara Sidle out of her thoughts. Only when her hand automatically reached for her stereo remote did she realize that the stereo was actually on. Ignoring that, she hit "Off", walked over to the door, and answered it, only to see Grissom's deep blue eyes staring straight at her.

"Well, if you're here it can't be good."

"You…want to let me in?" Sara noted the nervous…yet somehow calming look on his face as she to a side step to let him in.

"You want to know if I'm drunk?"

_Wow Sidle! That's a really good question! _Sara sort of lost her train of thought as she slipped into a mind picture of Catherine drunk in the lab.

"We both know that's not your problem." Grissom countered her question. Sara slammed the door behind him.

"I talked to Catherine."

_You talked to kiss ass?_ She nodded, masking her thoughts,

"And Ecklie?"

He wants me to fire you."

_Bastard._

"I figured. Can I get you anything?"

_Please leave._

"An explanation."

_Don't even go there._

"I…I lost my temper." Sara walked around the room, contemplating leaving, and leaving Grissom sitting there in her living room. Finally deciding against it, she stopped on the other side of the room in front of a chair, and then, after effectively seperating herself from Grissom, she calmed down a little and prepared for his next onslaught of questions.

"That seems to be happening quite a bit. Do you know why?"

_Don't go there, Grissom._

"What difference does it make? I'm still fired."

_So now he decides to care._

"It makes a difference to me."

_And does it matter to you that i obviously don't want to tell you why? Or do you just notice what Gilbert Grissom wants?_

"I have a problem with authority. I choose men who are emotionally unavailable. I'm self destructive. All of the above."

_Automatic answer. Some truth involved. he won't believe a word of it I bet._

"Have you ever gone a week without a rationalization?"

_Do you really want me to answer that? _Taking a breath before explaining, she abruptly got cut off as Grissom jumped back in to explain.

"It's from _The Big Chill_. One of the characters explaining a basic fact of life, that rationalizations are more important to us than say, even sex."

_Do you get some sort of twisted pleasure out of spouting these quotes and random fact at me or is it just "fun?"_

Realizing where this conversationwas leading to, Sara decided it was either sit down, or risk fainting at a later time. She opted for the first choice and slowly sank into her chair.

"I am not rationalizing anything. I crossed the line with Catherine, and I was insubordinate to Ecklie."

_Yeah. I crossed the line with kiss-ass, and I was insubordinate to a donkey. What's the problem with that? _

"Why?"

_Grissom...no. Please just leave it._

Shaking her head to match her answer_,_ Sara said,

"Leave it alone." In a very strained voice.

"No, Sara."

_Why are you doing this to me? _Sara thought as she felt her eyes begin to tear up.

"What do you want from me?"

_Please, Grissom, please, I don't want to. Please just leave it. Please._

"I want to know why you're so angry." Trying to ignore the question. Sara didn't answer. Upon raising her eyes, she saw Grissom staring at her and returned the stare with bleary eyes. As blue met brown, she began to explain what life was like living in the Sidle household."

A few minutes and many many tears later, Sara Sidle continued to explain.

"It's funny ... the things that you remember and the things that you don't, you know? There was a smell of iron in the air. Cast-off on the bedroom wall. There was this young cop puking his guts. I remember the woman who took me to foster care. I can't remember her name. Which is strange, you know, because I couldn't let go of her hand."

"Well ... the mind has its filters."

"I do remember the looks. I became the girl whose father was stabbed to death. Do you think there's a murder gene?"

_Maybe that's why I've wanted to kill Ecklie on many occasions before._

"I don't believe that genes are a predictor of violent behavior."

_Now is that the "Grissom answer" or the true answer? I vote the first._

"You wouldn't know that in my house. The fights, the yelling, the trips to the hospital. I thought it was the way that everybody lived. When my mother killed my father, I found out that it wasn't." Sara felt the tears running down her face, but didn't bother to wipe them off, knowing that there were many more to come. Slowly Grissom reached out and put his hand on hers, and Sara held on for all she was worth as the tears turned into minutes and the sobs turned into hours as Sara Sidle drowned in the shades of purple.

**Okay, I promise to update drunk fic tomorrow, but I have to leave now so...Please let there be reviews in my mail box!**

** That last sentence leads into the next one, Shades of Purple. (Hint: google that.)**

**Muchluvs, ilovesara801,**

**Jenn**


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